When you think about it… China (including Tibet) looks quite a lot like a chicken. Now, this is not the kind of thing I think about frequently (or even talk about, for that matter) but this deserves some special attention.

I have a rather worrying feeling this is the kind of story that only works in person, but I’ll go ahead anyway – just bear it in mind (try and visualise me saying it to you, or something (or don’t, if that’s a little too scary)).

Shortly after I handed in all the documents for my Chinese visa today, Xiaoxiao and I headed to Pizza Express for lunch. As we’re sat down waiting, Xiaoxiao decided to tell me about the Chinese English teacher she stayed with a few years ago. The teacher was around 30 and one of the best in her class. The problem is, China is a fairly “closed” country so some of the more common vocabulary is not learned, as well as the fact that often Chinese students' grammar is excellent, while their speaking and listening skills are a little below par.

So, anyway, there’s this Chinese English teacher in England, learning English. As far as I can tell she was at a school with lots of other English teachers, being taught by (presumably)… and English English teacher (so there are lots of teachers).

(in case you haven’t noticed I’m trying to pad it out a little and generally make this whole entry fairly interesting in case the interesting bit at the end really doesn’t work)

When this English teacher was asked to describe the map of China she did so, quickly and accurately. However, the English English teacher (the English teacher of the English teachers) found the answer absolutely hilarious and just laughed out loud when she heard the answer. Once she was done she said no more.

So the Chinese English teacher gets home and, quite confused by the response, decides to ask Xiaoxiao and the house mother what was so funny: “She asked what the map of China was like so I said it looked like a big cock.”

Well, that’s all. Cracked me up and given the right circumstances I reckon it would get most people. Maybe if you try and imagine a petite Chinese lady saying: “China is like a big cock” it will work better? Nah? Oh, well… worth a try.